


Kinesics

by SelfRescuingPrincess



Category: Crooked Media RPF
Genre: BDSM dynamics, Barebacking, Desperation, M/M, Withholding/Denial, bruises mention, sex tears, sub!Tommy, top!dan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-27
Updated: 2019-09-27
Packaged: 2020-10-20 14:01:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20676572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SelfRescuingPrincess/pseuds/SelfRescuingPrincess
Summary: He ties his tie a little too snugly around his neck so the half-Windsor presses on his bruises, but by day three they aren’t as sensitive, and it loses its effect. It seems silly, and he shouldn’t need it, but having those small points of discomfort makes him feel like Dan is there with him, his fingerprints smudged on Tommy’s skin like newsprint.





	Kinesics

**Author's Note:**

  * For [anatomical_heart](https://archiveofourown.org/users/anatomical_heart/gifts).

> Remix of [Proxemics](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17394011) by anatomical_heart.
> 
> Thank you as always to my intrepid beta, for enduring my neuroses.
> 
> Keep it secret/Keep it safe

Dan invited Tommy over for dinner and to get work done. Truth be told, the invite in and of itself was a relief. He’s been travelling—hasn’t seen Dan in almost a week—and he's feeling on edge. All he wants is to be near Dan, so if dinner and work is all Dan can give him tonight, then that will have to suffice. Except that when Tommy walks through the door with Thai food in hand and actually sees Dan he has a primal, visceral response. Tommy has to keep it together though, because that is not what Dan said tonight is about.

He watches Dan work, concentrating hard, being powerful and decisive. Tommy wants all of that intensity directed towards him, but he’s trying to be chill. When they first started hooking up, having all of Dan turned up to 11 was almost too much for Tommy, and he would be practically catatonic by the end. But Dan learned to modulate before he amplified and Tommy learned to accept and receive it, and together they both learned what the other can give. They’ve gotten better at reading each other, knowing each other. 

Tommy has come to realize that with that increased intensity comes a bigger payoff, and Dan has figured out that sometimes that’s exactly what Tommy needs when he’s wound so tight. Unfortunately for Tommy, that isn’t going to be tonight. Dan said he needed to work, so Tommy needs to be okay with what Dan is offering him.

They eat their noodles.

Dan calls Plouffe.

Tommy tries to focus on his emails, but it’s hard when Dan is so close.

Dan <strike>yells at</strike> calls ABC News.

Tommy glances at Dan on the couch only an arm’s length away.

Dan scribbles on his yellow legal pad.

Tommy stares vacantly down at his Blackberry. 

Tommy’s mind drifts to a lunch they had together two weeks ago. They ate in the mess as usual- a quick sandwich in between extinguishing fires. It was unremarkable, except just before they left for their respective offices Dan had grabbed Tommy’s wrist hard under the table and whispered in his ear, “I’m going to tie you to my bed tonight and fuck you so hard you won’t be able to speak.” Dan had never said anything like that out loud at work. Sure, he’s texted Tommy while in meetings, promising pain and pleasure in equal amounts. But to hear Dan whisper it in the White House, to feel Dan’s breath against his ear, was something else entirely. It was like being shot out of a cannon, and the rest of the day was a blur. Dan made good on his promise and Tommy was sore all over for two days. Verbalizing his desire of Tommy like that felt like a purposeful step in a new direction. By saying it out loud and punctuating it with his grip, Dan had opened a small window in Tommy’s soul, blew at the dust, and pulled the sheets off the abandoned furniture.

++++

Tommy is in New York for five days in order to staff Ambassador Power on behalf of the NSC during a UN Security Council meeting. It’s endlessly draining—meetings with the other permanent members, meetings with the full council, meetings with individual countries, meetings with heads of state and ambassadors—meetings about phone calls about meetings. Each night he goes back to his hotel, exhausted, stressed, and thinks about Dan. Sometimes he is awake late enough that he can call Dan and they catch up and then jerk off together, Dan directing Tommy exactly how he wants, only coming when Dan says so. But it isn’t the same. He ties his tie a little too snugly around his neck so the half-Windsor presses on his bruises, but by day three they aren’t as sensitive, and it loses its effect. It seems silly, and he shouldn’t need it, but having those small points of discomfort makes him feel like Dan is there with him, his fingerprints smudged on Tommy’s skin like newsprint.

This is the first time they have been apart for a significant amount of time since they started this thing between them. It’s unexpected how much Tommy craves Dan while he’s away. He feels how stiffly he's standing, partly because he senses deeply the high stakes of the meetings, but also because of the ever-present tension alive and hot under his skin. Certainly, things get hectic in the White House and they might go a day or two without seeing each other, but there's something different about being so far away. Tommy has never _longed_ for anyone before. By day four he’s so fidgety Ben calls him out, “Jesus Tommy, you’re bouncing off the walls. A little less coffee might be a good idea.” Tommy mumbled some kind of apology in response and felt his face blush with shame. Dan is good at keeping him in check. He misses Dan.

++++

Now that he is here in Dan’s apartment, Tommy feels slightly more at peace, but knowing that Dan has so much work to do sucks. He wishes he had the self-control that Dan has, but his brain always goes a little off-line around him. He needs a distraction, so he decides to take a shower. The water feels good as it streams down his shoulders, but it’s not as relaxing as he had hoped, because it’s not really what his body wants. He thinks about jerking off but he forgot to ask Dan if he could, so he decides it's better if he doesn't. By the time he gets out of the shower, in fresh boxer-briefs and t-shirt, he isn’t any less worked up than before. 

Walking back into the living room where Dan is sitting on the couch, Tommy decides to push his luck. Dan’s head is bowed over his work, so Tommy comes up behind him to kiss the exposed skin of his neck. Dan’s skin is warm and smooth. He gets a small hum and a smaller smile in response, but Dan keeps working. Tommy runs his hands down Dan’s chest and back up, fingertips pressing into him. Tommy’s jaw clenches. This might have been a mistake; now that he’s had his hands on Dan, he doesn’t want to stop. If he was four years old he would honestly fling himself on the ground, but he’s not, so he tries a different tactic for attention which is, really, all Tommy wants. “I really want to blow you right now. Feel you all the way at the back of my throat,” Tommy murmurs into Dan’s ear, trying his best to sound seductive and alluring. Surely that will get him some eye contact or _something_.

“Not gonna happen.” Dan replies firmly without so much as a glance in Tommy’s direction.

UGH. _Fine_. Whatever. Tommy stomps back into the bedroom where he paces, trying to figure out what to do. He wants to be good for Dan; Dan has to work and he’s given Tommy no indication that he is going to do anything else. He missed Dan so much he can feel it down to the soles of his feet and it makes him itchy. His face feels hot.

Didn’t Dan miss him too? He’d said so over the phone- or at least he said he missed fucking Tommy’s face and making him cry. Is that the same thing? Does Dan think about him the way he thinks about Dan? Before New York, he probably would have said yes, but now he’s not so sure. 

The physical distance of the past week seems to have amplified everything in Tommy’s brain. He hadn’t known, before Dan, how much he appreciated being challenged professionally, physically, emotionally. Dan will stand toe to toe with him- push back and call him on his bullshit, when past partners might have just tried to placate him. It’s not that Dan is unkind, quite the opposite: Dan is steady, unyielding, supportive. Dan is no nonsense, and right now Tommy feels like all nonsense. 

Stewing back here in the bedroom, his brain spiraling in six different directions, Tommy feels like a live wire. Fuck, he needs Dan to quiet him down, tell him to stay put, tell him what he is good for. He feels positively feral.

He strides back into the living room and, without thinking, climbs into Dan’s lap, starts kissing his face, his jaw, his ear, rubbing his cheek against Dan like a cat, squeezing his thighs around Dan's hips, anything to get him to react. Doesn’t Dan want him? Maybe Dan didn’t miss him the same way, but he would at least want to punish Tommy for disrupting his work, right? Tommy wants that kind of punishment, not this non-response which feels like a cruel, no-fun kind of punishment. 

“I’m trying to work,” Dan says, with no intonation and a completely flat affect. Tommy’s getting nothing from him, so he escalates his tantrum by kissing Dan full and filthy on the mouth. He feels not quite in control of himself, simultaneously knotted up and frayed at the ends.

Dan pulls back and says, sharply, “What did I just say?”

Tommy can feel the tears prickle behind his eyes; he knows he pushed too far but he can’t help it. He can’t not want Dan when he is here and solid in front of him, a prize Tommy won but can’t have. Like when he was a little kid and his mom made cookies and they smelled so sweet and buttery, but he wasn’t allowed to eat them until some undefined “later”. 

“Please.” He knows he’s begging, his hips grinding against Dan without any input from his frontal lobe. He’s so desperate and out of his mind with longing. “I need you to fuck me. Dan, please. I need it. I need it. I need you.” Tommy barely knows what he’s saying but he has to make Dan understand. Dan has been helping him to use his words, to be clear about what he needs and he’s trying. It’s hard to say if he’s succeeding.

Dan grabs his wrist and Tommy is unsuccessful at containing a whimper. Dan’s hands feel so good tight against his skin. “You’re a _spoiled brat_.” Tommy tries (and fails) to not dissolve when Dan gets that voice. The one where he means business. Tommy _is_ a brat. He knows this, and it fills him with humiliation when Dan says it; his face flushes crimson and he hangs his head in shame. Dan isn’t about to let it go at just name calling. “I invited you over tonight to _work_ because I have to _work_ and we can’t always get what we want. Isn’t that right?” His voice is harsh, with a sharp edge.

Tommy knows now he really messed up. He was supposed to be good and can’t even do the bare minimum. He’s a brat and he made Dan mad. He tries to rein himself in. He nods, still kissing Dan’s neck because he can’t stop, but he does apologize. “M’sorry.” He feels a tear slip down his cheek. He has disappointed Dan. He’s such a fuck up. He’ll get sent back to his place alone because he deserves it.

“_But_,” Dan continues, even though he sounds cautious, “you said you need this.”

Tommy sits up. He _does_, he does need this. His breathing hitches- is Dan going to relent? He can stay?

“Then you’ll have to earn it. You’re going to work yourself open while I finish this. And when you have that beautiful hole of yours wide open for me, I’ll let you ride my cock.”

Tommy can feel his face break out into a giant smile; he’s so grateful and relieved. He can breathe again. Dan gave him directions! He can do this! He will get to ride Dan! Tommy doesn’t have to go home. He can already feel the boiling kettle in his head settle to a simmer.

Tommy zeros in on the task at hand. He quickly gathers Dan’s papers and walks briskly into the bedroom. Dan is going to work and Tommy is going to get himself ready and then Dan will give him his excellent dick. Tommy arranges the chair so Dan has the best light for his work and the best view of the bed. Now that he has an assignment, he wants to excel. He will show Dan that he can get it right, even exceed his expectations. He wants to get an A+ in Dan 101: Interpersonal Conflict Resolution and Submissive Studies.

Dan will work and he will get ready and then he gets Dan. Dan will work and he will get ready and then he gets Dan. Dan will work and he will get ready…

Tommy pulls out the lube he brought in his overnight bag because when you fail to prepare, you prepare to fail. He watches Dan get settled and he takes off his t-shirt and briefs and gets on the bed. He wants to do what he has been told, but he also wants to make it good for Dan. He wants to show off a little, show how good he is at doing what Dan has asked. He doesn’t spend all that time punishing himself in the gym for nothing. Even though Dan is focusing on his work like he said he would, on the off chance he looks up, Tommy wants him to know how well-behaved he’s being and enjoy the display. 

He starts with one finger, fucking himself in and out, his eyes closed, focusing on the feeling. He’s already a little under with arousal, so he has to go slow or this will be even more embarrassing than this evening has already been. Knowing he's doing this for Dan’s pleasure and not just his own is gratifying in a way Tommy can’t really explain. He adds another finger and he spreads his knees further against the comforter, his cheek almost flat against the bed. He feels boneless, awash in the satisfaction of giving Dan what he asked for. He can hear the rustle of papers and the scratching of Dan’s pen. Dan working is actually incredibly attractive- Tommy loves watching him think, making decisions that will influence the most powerful man in the world because that powerful man listens to what Dan has to say. The fact that Dan, in all his self-possession, does it with such quiet certainty is deeply sexy.

He has three fingers in himself and he’s watching Dan. Tommy's in that floaty space where everything else just falls away. He is sweating, breathing through his mouth. He is so hard but knows he can’t touch his cock and risk a reprimand. Tommy feels like he’s been on his knees forever, he feels ready, or at least as ready as he will ever be for Dans thick dick. And he needs Dan now. 

“I’m ready- ready for you. M’so ready.” He can feel his heartbeat in his throat.

“How many fingers deep are you?”

How many fingers? Isn’t Dan paying attention? Is he still ignoring Tommy? “Th-Three.” Tommy can barely breathe he wants Dan so much. His skin is slick with sweat.

“You’re not done yet- add the fourth.”

What. “Dan-” How can he- how much longer- 

“Do it. Right now.” 

Fuck, Tommy can’t do anything against that voice. He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. He kind of gets the fourth finger in and he can’t help the gasp that escapes his mouth. It’s so much. Too much? He wants to be a good boy for Dan, and it’s uncomfortable, but he’s doing it because Dan asked him to, which is all the motivation he needs, even though he isn’t sure how much more he can take.

“Please,” all Tommy can manage is a whisper, “Pleasepleaseplease” Tommy wants—needs—Dan. He _told_ Dan he needs him. He needs him.

“Did I tell you to beg? I told you to work your hole open for me, and if you can’t even do that, then why should I think about fucking you tonight?”

Fuckfuckfuck. He can’t withhold from Tommy. Not now. What else can Tommy do? He has to be quiet to let Dan work so he glues his lips together and tries his absolute best to make Dan happy.

Finally, FINALLY, Tommy hears the papers stop shuffling. “Look at that hole. That’s what I want to see.” Tommy opens his eyes. Dan is looking at him, and he looks- he looks pleased.

“Thank you,” Tommy is so proud to give Dan what he asked for. Dan’s gaze feels like a tangible thing on his skin, coating him in warmth and bubbling with satisfaction. He’s trying not to melt like butter into the mattress.

Dan takes off his clothes, which fills Tommy with relief. “What do you need most from me?”

Tommy practically sobs now that Dan’s attention is on him. “I need you inside me. Filling me up with your come.” They haven’t done that much, but right now Tommy feels like he wants to be blanketed by the existence of Dan, inside and out. 

“What else?” Dan is brief and to the point, seemingly writing the evening’s itemized agenda in his mind.

“I need to come. Need you to wring it out of me, Dan, please.” Tommy wants to not think, to leave New York behind, to fold up the jacket of his anxiety and stuff it in the closet.

“Anything else? This is your last chance.”

“N-no.” Tommy is trembling with arousal, anticipation, feeling like a jellyfish washed up on the sand.

“Okay then.” Dan gently tugs at Tommy's wrist, sliding his fingers out. It feels good to unwind his shoulder. It feels even better to have Dan’s broad hands on his ass, spreading his cheeks, running his fingers over Tommy’s hole. Dan slips his thumb inside and Tommy whispers, “Thankyouthankyouthankyou” It’s almost an out of body experience- as if he's watching Dan touch him while he floats above everything.

“I hope you’re ready to work for it. You’re going to ride me and I’m not going to help at all.” All business.

“What- whaddoyoumean?” Tommy is barely hanging on, the words coming out all slurred together. He takes a breath and tries to focus on what Dan is asking him. Telling him. He narrows in on Dan’s hand stroking down his spine.

“Just what I said. You want to come? You’re gonna earn it.” Dan is authoritative and commanding and Tommy is helpless against it. “I’m not going to touch you, and you’re going to ride my cock like it’s your job, because tonight it is.”

Tommy lets out a sob. Dan’s not going to touch him? He wants Dan to touch him. Desperately. But he also wants to give Dan what he asks for. He sluggishly gathers his limbs together and sits up. Dan is leaning against the headboard propped up on pillows and he’s got his hand on his dick, which is admittedly pretty good incentive, so Tommy lifts his leg over Dan’s lap and, trembling, slowly lowers himself onto Dan’s beautiful, thick cock.

It takes him a little time and a lot of effort, but once Tommy is fully seated, he takes a few deep breaths. This is what he needs. Dan is under him and inside him and he feels so full and good and warm. He holds onto the headboard with both hands so he doesn’t collapse completely and he rests his forehead on his left bicep. 

Sometimes, it feels like Tommy’s job is so monumental- well, his specific role is kind of small in the grand scheme of things, but the issues are enormous. Global crises are managed, with millions of lives at stake, and history is written in real time. They are responsible for so many things. So many people need their help. The world is so immense it’s overwhelming; it keeps Tommy up at night. In Dan’s apartment his world is smaller. His world consists of only Dan, and it’s much easier to manage. Here he can give himself over to Dan and Dan will take care of him.

Tommy is jolted out of his brief reprieve with Dan’s large palm, hard and flat against his ass. 

“What are you waiting for? Do you know how much work I have to get done before tomorrow’s briefings?”

Tommy tries to focus his eyes on Dan’s face, but he’s been wrecked for so long this evening he’s tipped over into delirium. He starts to laugh and he can’t stop. 

“I can’t fucking do my job without thinking about you anymore,” Tommy blurts out; all of his walls have crumbled. He pulls himself up Dan’s shaft and sinks down with great satisfaction. He doesn’t have the energy for defenses anymore and words just fall out of his mouth. “Can _you_? Do you think about me when you brief POTUS in the mornings? Do you think about the things you do to me when you talk to the press?” Tommy thinks about the things Dan does to him constantly. When he’s organizing the pool spray, when he’s on the phone with reporters, when he’s writing statements. 

Tommy starts to find a rhythm as he slides up and down over Dan, and it’s as if once the words start Tommy is powerless to stop them. He has a vague idea of what he’s saying, but it’s as if someone else is reading his mind and broadcasting the words they find. “Do you worry someone’s going to see the bruises on my neck or my wrists and ask me about them? Do you think about me begging you to make it hurt whenever you’ve had a hard day?”

Tommy has a fantasy that one day someone—some staff member, or Ben, or god even the president—will suddenly grab his arm, push up the cuff of his sleeve and ask _what are these?_ And Tommy will say, _those are from Dan._ The other person will nod and solemnly say _he has marked you, that means you are his._ Tommy may or may not jerk off to that scenario several times a month.

He keeps moving against Dan, wanting Dan to feel at least as half as good as he makes Tommy feel. Tommy is fully zoned in on Dan, and he can feel Dan’s body start to respond, rocking up to meet Tommy as he pushes down. Tommy rests one hand on Dan’s cheek, his thumb on Dan’s lower lip. He’s staring into the pools of Dan’s blue eyes like he might fall in.

“You were thinking about this today,” Dan replies, pressing up into Tommy as if to emphasize his point.

“_Yes_, New York was…” Tommy isn’t sure how or if to finish that sentence. Dan very rarely shows emotions, which serves him well in DC, but Tommy never truly knows what he’s thinking. He’s left trying to read the way his shoulders are set, how he’s standing, the force of his blows, or the deliberateness of his movements. New York forced Tommy to face the fact that while Dan’s body tells him a lot, it’s not everything. And now he’s pretty sure he doesn’t want anything less.

Dan gazes back at Tommy with a clear and open face. “What?”

This is the moment. Tommy has spent the evening doing everything he can to please Dan, but more importantly for Dan to notice him. Sometimes he needs Dan so much that he can’t help it, his body listing towards Dan, no matter where they are. But here—now—Tommy can wrap his arms around Dan and hold him as close as he wants. And until now Tommy thought he just wanted Dan to fuck him, to use his body in whatever way Dan saw fit. But it somehow feels different now. He slows down so he’s just barely moving against Dan. Pressed against Dan like this, with so much of his skin touching Dan, he feels like they are connected in a way that is new, something distinct from before. 

He is there, in Dan’s lap, sinking into Dan’s body under him, when he feels Dan’s arms wrap around him and his big, strong hands flat against his back. Dan shifts, and rolls them over so Tommy is underneath Dan. Tommy always likes Dan on top of him, but this isn’t what Dan told Tommy was going to happen, so it momentarily throws him for a loop. His brain is trying to dial back in a little to adjust to the new scenario. Tommy must look a little lost, because Dan rolls his hips and presses deep into Tommy, as if to say _I’ve got you, you’re with me, there’s no need to worry_. Tommy clings to Dan, wrapping his legs around him, the pads of his fingers against Dan’s spine.

Dan has one hand around the headboard and the other on Tommy’s face as he slides in and out of Tommy. Tommy could cry- Dan over him, his broad body a shield against the world and Tommy safe underneath.

“New York was what?” Dan asks, stroking his fingers along Tommy’s collarbone. It keeps Tommy present.

“Was awful without you,” he says quietly. It’s so much to admit that he can’t even look at Dan. He just feels Dan driving into him, their skin sweaty as they slide against each other. Tommy feels Dan wrap his hand around his dick and Tommy startles, gasping at his touch.

“I had to lock myself in the men’s down by the kitchen the day you left. Someone made a comment about you being _ridden too hard_,” Dan laughs and it’s music to Tommy’s ears. Dan is happy. He grins at that thought, gulping for air as Dan expertly works Tommy’s cock while simultaneously fucking him, lighting Tommy up from the inside. He’s so close to coming, and he feels like he’s flying- all skin and nerve endings and sparks going off in his brain.

“M’gonna--” Tommy comes instantly, his orgasm rolling through him like a tsunami. His head falls back against the pillows and he can feel the tension, held for so long in his body, finally seep out of him.

Dan has slowed down, but he keeps fucking Tommy, and Tommy’s body is so sensitive, his brain is so vulnerable. He can’t stop trembling. “Dan…”

In response Dan fucks into Tommy hard, holding Tommy down, leaning into him, stroking his chest. Tommy is shaking and he feels the tears fall down his face. He hiccups breaths while holding onto Dan for dear life. Tommy is reduced to sensations, Dan the only thing tethering him to this Earth, so Tommy clings to him.

“That’s it, pull me in, pull me in.” Dan nuzzles into Tommy’s jaw, mouthing the words directly into his skin, but it’s Dan who pulls Tommy up against him until they are both upright. Tommy is still wrapped tightly around Dan. Hysterically, Tommy thinks he must look like a koala, and he couldn’t care less. He’s still sobbing, but he is exactly where he needs to be. 

He manages to drag his head off of Dan’s shoulder, looking at him with red, puffy eyes, tears still streaking his cheeks. Dan still has yet to give him the one other thing he asked for. “Want you to fill me up, Dan. Please. I want it. Wanna feel you.” He wants to be utterly owned by Dan.

Dan holds him tightly, moaning into Tommy’s hair, brushing his lips against Tommy’s ear as he comes, pulling Tommy down onto his dick as much as he is thrusting up and into him. He grips the back of Tommy’s neck so hard; Tommy hopes the bruises that had faded in New York will get replaced by fresh ones. Dan leans his forehead against Tommy’s as they both attempt to catch their breaths. “You okay?” Dan asks.

Tommy smiles and nods. Dan lays him back down, resting on top of him. Dan knows he likes this, being under Dan; it helps ground him as he reorients himself to time and place. 

Dan tenderly kisses his chest, and it’s so sweet Tommy might start crying again. He’s not actually sure he ever stopped? Sometimes it takes him a while to get his emotions back in check and right now he still feels cracked and fragile. He focuses on Dan’s lips on his skin, breathing in and out, Dan’s weight solid on him.

Dan lifts his head to look at Tommy. Tommy looks back at him. He’s always struck at how blue Dan’s eyes are. “I missed you, too,” Dan says quietly, his eyes soft on Tommy. 

“Yeah?” Tommy can feel his smile take over his face, his eyes scrunching up, joy in his lips. He runs his fingers over Dan’s shoulders.

“Yeah,” Dan kisses him, and Tommy feels it in his body, knows it in his heart. It is everything.

**Author's Note:**

> [Kinesics](https://https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinesics) is the interpretation of body language, including facial expressions, gestures, posture, and other nonverbal behavior.


End file.
